The Four Types of Intramural Teams You’ll Face

1.  The Gym Class Heroes

Alright! You and your buddies got an intramural football team together.   You guys are all awful but like playing together, which is why you signed up for the rec league. Which is what everyone does. Right? Wrong! All of the sudden, out steps the opposing team that look like the bad guys from The Mighty Ducks. One guy has full pads on, and another you’re pretty sure is Johnny Manziel in disguise. Crap. Well, you guys try your absolute hardest, but these guys’ 3 years of JV football in high school actually pays off and they stomp on you until you bleed. And then, of course, there’s the endzone celebrations.

dance   2.  The Quitters

Okay, so you’re 0-1. But no big deal! That was one team; besides, you’re playing to have fun right? So game two rolls around. You figure it can’t get worse than those guys. But it is. Oh, so much, it is. Your matchup this week is six guys who had a little too much birthday last night and are moving sluggish. Every time they touch the ball it’s like they’re moving through a wall of molasses and sadness. They don’t care, they’re not trying, and you win. But you don’t feel good about it.

 

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3.  The “So Bad They’re Good”

There’s always one team. And they look terrible. Out of shape, no coordination, and you’re only 60% sure they actually know the rules of the game. But somehow they still kick your butt all up and down the field. And there’s no scientific reason why. There’s always one kid that looks like the worst, but then has a breakout game against your team somehow. The team goes friggin nuts when this kid does something good, but here he is with 5 touchdowns and is leading the team in yards. Neither team is sure how this happened, but they’re good with it.

 

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4.The People That Actually Play For Fun

Ah jeez. This is bad. Maybe playing intramural football was a bad choice. You just wanted some time with your buds. But then, in the distance you spot a miracle. A group of ragtag, fun loving, stupid smiling idiots that look a lot like an alternate universe version of your friends. And lo and behold, they absolutely are. These guys are playing football but aren’t taking themselves too seriously. It’s a close, fun, game. Which, you know, was sorta why you signed up in the first place.

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