4 Biblical Plagues (If They Happened at Gonzaga)

Death of the Firstborn

It was the year of our Lord, spring 2013, and hopes were high. Our basketball program was stronger than it had ever been before, and we were number one in the nation. The firstborn. But then suddenly, everything changed. And the fall from the top was a long one. Once eliminated from the NCAA tournament by Lucifer disguised as Wichita State, death bestowed itself amongst campus and March Madness brackets galore.  It was indeed a sacrifice, but only so greater things, like this upcoming 2014-2015 season, could live.



A student at the University of Illinois navigates an aphid swarm between classes.

Well, aphids, technically. Legend has it that many moons (like 3 days) ago our campus was riddled with tiny winged creatures that were everywhere. There was no way to rid them from our beloved school, and you couldn’t walk more than 4 feet without having dozens in your hair, mouth, and face.  It was like snow in October.  If you were low on protein for the day, all it took was a quick jog across campus and you’d be set.  The ungodly amount of aphids was sure to be a sign of the upcoming apocalypse.


Storms of Fire

Transferring Heat Through Radiaton, Conduction, And Convection.

If you’ve experienced Spo Sum, you’ve been through the third apocalyptic plague. The heat was especially fierce to those living in any elevation, like the second floor of a house.  Oh how the people of Spokane yearned for sweet, cool, relief, only to step outside and feel like they were standing inside Mt. Doom.  Those cursed without the aid of air conditioning suffered longer than those with, however all living things were swept up in the madness, using the river for cooling.



As the winter months settled in, the alternate of the Storms of Fire, darkness was blanketed across the land. Especially to those who have night classes, darkness begins to fall early as the earth cools, leaving no signs of life anywhere.  There’s absolute stillness.  This would be the last apocalyptic sign, as nothing appears to be left. It’s a grey, barren wasteland that makes you wonder if you’ll ever see the sun again.



Categories: Campus Life

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