What would the reality shows we have grown up watching look like on our campus right here, at Gonzaga? We were wondering the same thing! Here are some shows that could quite possibly take place on campus given the producers one day realize the potential of Spokane and the Gonzaga community…
1 – Jesuit Shore (Jersey Shore: Jesuit Style)
Cast: The Jesuit Fathers of Gonzaga, nicknamed after the Jesuit saints (ie: St. Ignatius = Iggggy).
Plot Spin-off: Instead of enforcing controversial Italian-American stereotypes, Jesuit stereotypes will be debunked! The Jesuit House will replace the Jersey Shore House while the series follows each Jesuit through escapades to Knights of Columbus, Cigar walks, and every day life. Plus, the truth behind the rumors of the blessings of the kegs (in the times of our parents) will be found out once and for all.
2 – Real World: Tilford Center
This is the true story… of seven nursing students… picked to live in Tilford Center…work together and have their lives taped… to find out what happens… when nurses stop being polite… and start getting real…The Real World.
Cast: One nursing student from each Nursing School cohort would make up the house of the real world. The inherent competitiveness in each nursing student would make for a 10-year casting and audition process.
Plot Spin-off: Instead of being set in the typical real world house, the film crew follows selected nursing students living together in Tilford Center, depicting the issues of contemporary young nurses. The cameras will document what actually happens during so-called tests and clinical days, revealing the truth behind Tilford doors: the classrooms are actually taught by puppy dogs and gnomes.
3 – Survivor: Logan Neighborhood
Jeff Probst: John, The Tribe has spoken. Time for you to leave the Logan.
Cast: The tribes are comprised of various residents throughout the Logan (Gonzaga students only).
Plot Spin-off: Contestants must provide food, water, and shelter for themselves on a poor college student budget while surviving in the confines of Mission Park. They will compete in challenges in the Logan such as overcoming a car break-in, rescuing cats, and successfully warding off large groups of underclassmen from entering into their territory.
4 – Dolphin Tank (Shark Tank)
Mark Cuban: Follow the green (while solving the issues of the world), not the dream.
Cast: The Tank (social entrepreneurs): Hogan Program students and student entrepreneurs; The “Dolphins” (they don’t kill, they befriend): Thayne, a Jesuit Father, a Nun, and rotating business professors.
Plot Spin-off: Instead of measuring the potential financial profitability of the proposed businesses, the dolphin panel would judge contenders on the business capacity to solve human rights issues.
5 – Zag Fear Factor
I’m Joe Rogan, and this is Fear Factor. The stunts you are about to see were all designed and supervised by trained professors. They are extremely dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone, anywhere, anytime—with the exception of the Gonzaga student body.
Cast: Anyone who does not currently attend Gonzaga and dares to test their ability to survive in Zag nation.
Plot Spin-off: The first physical test will consist of surviving the harsh climates of Spokane while simultaneously being swarmed by gnats and attacked by cute squirrels. The second mental test will consist of twelve hours straight in Foley library, two club meetings and three full BARC meals after a day of classes in the fourth floor of college hall. The third, extreme stunt will test the contestant’s Zag spirit: as a substitute Zag cheerleader, flying solo on the sidelines.