How to Eat a Lot and Win Free Stuff

Eating and free things are probably two of my favorite things of all time.  And the Bulldog Blog is hosting an eating contest with free pie. Yeah. Free pie. All you need to do is “like” our Facebook page and our most recent profile picture (which pretty much says exactly what I just said) by October 27 for a chance to be entered into the contest on the 30th. The winner of the contest wins another free (oh yeah!) basket of Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice goodies. So that’s potentially 2 free things for 2 likes. That’s dope. Here’s some tips to make sure you get that basket.

 

The Pre-Funk

The most common myth about eating competitively is that you just have to be hungry. Everyone gets hungry. I’m hungry right now; all I’ve eaten today is a bowl of Raisin Bran. Competitive eating requires as much training and focus as any other competition. And if you don’t train right, bad things will happen. Take competitive eater and my personal hero Takeru Kobayashi for example. This skinny Japanese dude could down hot dogs like you’d never seen, until the fateful day of June 25, 2007, when he announced on his blog that he had injured his jaw during training. Let me say that again. Injured his jaw during training. You know what kind of dedication that takes? So the pre-funk to the competition is essential if you don’t want to hurt yourself with food.

 

It’s a marathon, not a sprint

lol animated GIF

Anyone who appreciates Thanksgiving dinner as much as I do can attest to this. If you’re at your Grandma’s house and fill up on gravy and potatoes, how will you have 4 slices of pie like the pilgrims intended? The professionals eat fast, but that’s because they’ve been training for years. Quick out the gate and a slow finish still results in a loss. Find a pace that works for you and just keep going with that for as long as you can. It’s like advice that runners get, but literally the exact opposite.

 

Lubricate

 

Yeah I said it. If you watch any given hot dog eating contest, there’s always one guy who looks ridiculous dipping the bun in water so it slides down their gullet more easily. But then they start winning. It’s because it works. It’s simple science, really, and it’s why water slides are so fun.  You just need to pretend that you’re the water slide and the food is you.  I don’t think it’s the same for pies though.

 

Don’t puke

Every single biological instinct and process in your body is going to make you want to vomit. You know what they say to heavy kids, “Eat until you’re not hungry anymore, not until you’re full.” Eating contests essentially take this mindset, scream a big “LOL” at it, and make you feel like there’s a baby alien inside you that’s screaming to get out. But fight that! Fight that natural urge to purge. Usually, if you puke in an eating contest you’re eliminated. Plus it’s a pretty messy cleanup for some poor volunteer that’s going to be working at the event.

 

So a recap.  October 27, give the “like”, and you could win an explosion of fall sponsored by Trader Joe’s.  Use these tips and you shouldn’t do awful.  Here’s that link for you, and good luck!

 https://www.facebook.com/gubulldogblog

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Categories: Campus Life, Food, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

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