How to Procrastinate for Finals

Finals.  They’re like the zits of the academic world.  They’re gross, nobody wants them around, and they always show up at the worst possible time.  If you’re like me (or any other red blooded slack jawed lazy American), you’ll put off your studying of finals as long as possible.  Here’s some ways to do that.


Read all the stuff on your Facebook feed

Check!  You’re here and you’re reading this, and I’m sure you have loads more better things to do than read this blog.  But I’m happy you’re here.  All the click bait on your timeline suddenly becomes the most interesting pieces of breaking news imaginable.  “Wait, I DO need to know what 6 child stars are bankrupt now!” or “You know, I’ve always wondered about the 4 obvious plot holes I’ve missed in my favorite movies”.  The stuff is pretty much made for procrastinators like you and me (I’m dragging you in this too because you’re reading it).



I realize now that I’ve searched “eating gif” an embarrassing amount of times for my posts.  No matter.  The person who first said “Eat because you’re hungry, not because you’re bored” obviously didn’t ever have 3 finals on the same day.  Stress eating is nature’s way of pushing you into a beautiful oblivion.  You’re going to fail your heavily weighted exams?  Might as well look the part too!  The more you stress the more you eat, and before you know it you’re packing on more pounds than a bear ready to hibernate for the winter.


Go to the gym

The exact opposite of eating, going to the gym is a good way to procrastinate and burn off some of that stress.  There’s a whole big science reason why exercising is good for you, but I’m a psych major so I don’t know anything.  Besides, you probably feel guilty about not going all semester and my have big trip to a less gloomy place coming up.  Your pale winter belly will not thrive on the beaches of Guam.


Do literally everything else you’ve been meaning to do

Funny enough, when you’re supposed to be working on a big paper or studying for a major test, the time is right to do everything but that.  Clean your room, do your laundry, call your grandma, wash your dishes, wash yourself, wash someone else, whatever you can do.  Just put off what needs to actually happen by doing things that don’t necessarily need to happen.  And that, kids, is time management 101.


Get a significant other

Easier said than done, I know.  But hear me out.  You have a final tomorrow, you’re stressing out, and you’re alone.  That’s bad, right?  Now imagine this.  You have a final tomorrow, you’re stressing out, and you’re WITH SOMEONE.  Misery loves company, especially if that company is going out for a few “good luck” coffees to keep your motivation high.




Categories: Campus Life, Lifestyle

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1 reply

  1. This was super funny…yeah, I will definitely be doing ALL of these before my finals. Who invented finals anyway? Wtf were they thinking?!


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