Every Seahawks Fan During Super Bowl XLIX: A Timeline

For Seattlelites, this past Sunday was a rough one. The Seattle Seahawks faced off against the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl and it ended in absolute tragedy. With seconds left on the clock, rookie Patriot linebacker Malcolm Butler intercepted Russell Wilson in the end zone, sealing the Patriots’ victory. For those of you non-sports inclined, imagine planning your wedding, being excited for it for months and just when your spouse walks down the aisle and faces your smiling face, they rip off the mask they had on the whole time and they turned out to be an alien that wanted to kidnap you for space experiments. That’s what happened to the Seahawks. But it wasn’t always bad. Let’s take a journey through the game from the eyes of a Seahawks fan.

Beginning of the game – 3:30 PM. 15:00 on the clock.


Ah, the Super Bowl. The best day of the year for football. Funny commercials, lots of food and your favorite team is playing. It really doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

End of the first quarter – 15 minutes of play gone


Well, we didn’t score. But they didn’t either! And we had an interception, which is always fun to watch. There’s been some really great commercials too. What a good day.

Quarter 2 – 9:47 on the clock


Ah. Well, the Pats scored a touchdown. But that’s alright! It’s really early. And there was a really sad commercial about a dead kid, but on the other hand there was one about a puppy and horse that were best friends. And I still have half of my hot wings left!

Quarter 2 – 2:16 on the clock


BEAST MODE! Marshawn Lynch, the Skittles guy that doesn’t talk according to your grandma, finds the end zone! Instantly, your party erupts in a confetti’d mass of Skittles and hugs. All tied up now, 7-7!

Quarter 2 – 0:31 on the clock

upset animated GIF

Rob Gronkowski has a dumb name anyway. But that was a good touchdown, you have to admit. Ah, well. At least the Hawks are a second half team, right?

Quarter 2 – 0:02 on the clock

happy animated GIF

OR MAYBE THEY’RE A FIRST HALF TEAM, BABY!! Chris Matthews (NOT the guy that does Hardball) strolls in after a Russell Wilson perfect throw. He’s a perfect man. This is a perfect sport. Football is fun and now people are filing in to watch Katy Perry.



Thank goodness you won your prop bet saying that Katy Perry would enter the stadium riding a giant aluminum Aslan and end soaring above the crowd on the “The More You Know” star. And there were dancing sharks and beach balls and Missy Elliot showed up! Maybe I should lay off the Nyquil this early.

Quarter 3 – 11:09 on the clock


Okay, well the wings are gone, but that’s okay! They were good. And so is this game. Well, the commercials have been really weird and sad, but there was a good one for some glue company you’d never heard of. And hey! A field goal! 3 more points to the Hawks, thank you very much. Hawks lead 17-14.

Quarter 3 – 4:54 on the clock


And it’s another touchdown! 24-14? No way they’re coming back from that! This is a good position to be in. So good that you feel okay going to the bathroom and missing a play or eight. Those hot wings really get to you.

Quarter 4 – 7:55 on the clock

shocked animated GIF

Well, shoot. They scored again. But it’s 24-21, and we get the ball back. So that’s good…right?

Quarter 4 – 2:02 on the clock

frustrated animated GIF

Shoot shoot shoot. They’re up 28-24. That’s not good. But it’s the Seahawks! It’s your team! You remember the game before against the Green Bay Packers where they defied almost impossible odds to scrape out the win. You’re nervous, yeah. But not THAT nervous. They’ll pull it out.

Quarter 4 – 1:05 on the clock


Holy macaroni! Jermaine Kearse just pulled off probably the best catch in the history of football. He literally bounced it off his leg and caught it again like some sort of trampoline man. Once we win, that’ll be the play everyone’s talking about. The adrenaline is pumping through your veins knowing you’re minutes away from being back-to-back Super Bowl champs. You prepare to call your friend who’s obsessed with the Patriots and rub it all in his face. Oh, this will be so sweet.

Quarter 4 – 0:26 on the clock

upset animated GIF

One yard line. The one yard line. You’re literally one step from emerging as champions. But oh no. No running it in with Marshawn Lynch, the guy who’s been running circles around everyone all game. Russell Wilson, usually so calm and collected under pressure, overthrew to receiver Ricardo Lockette and right into the hands of a Patriot nobody. Stunned, you sit again. The world has become dimmer, more dull. You look around, everyone is crying. Outside, fires erupt. There is chaos everywhere. Your ceiling implodes. Someone breaks into your house and steals all your blue jeans. There is no more hope, no more happiness. The world goes quiet.

End of game – 0:00 on the clock


Slowly you fade back into reality. The Patriots are victorious. The Seahawks have fallen. And how very far they fell. You ignore the call from your Patriots friend. It’s too painful. Numb, you pick up chicken bones and chip crumbs off the floor and remember that someone will have to vacuum all the Skittles that people threw. You hope it’s your housemate, Gavin. He doesn’t even like sports. Oh, to be in Gavin’s shoes. To be without pain. To not suffer. That’s the life you want.

Time heals all wounds. And so does the Zags bumping up to #2 in the AP Poll. Let’s hope that one works out – you don’t know if your poor heart can take much more of it.


Categories: Lifestyle

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1 reply

  1. that was unfortunate. #12manforlife the bandwagons can leave now. go Seahawks!!!


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