Ben Yaks Back – 2/12

For some reason, the app Yik Yak has been insanely popular at GU. Yik Yak is an anonymous Twitter feed where people can say whatever they want, which can prompt some inappropriate content. Yik Yak also uses location services on your phone, so the Yaks you see are guaranteed to be from people in your area.

 

 

“My roommate just told me she has never seen any of the hangover movies….I’m speechless”

I’m SO happy that this got shared. I’m glad you took time out of your life, powered on your phone, did the unlock code, swiped until you found the Yik Yak app, and typed and posted this. My life is so much better for knowing this. Thanks for the enlightenment.

 

“I love my Zags!”

tina fey animated GIF Okay, guy, take it easy there.

 

“Who’s the real winner… Tent #1 or first in SubCo cookie line?”

house of cards animated GIF Are…are you serious? Tent #1, for sure. Let me break this down. Excluding minute details, like cookie shape, chocolate chip count, etc., every cookie you get will be the same. Delicious. Exactly what you asked for. That’s what the cookie makers get paid to do, after all. Now let’s look at Tent #1. Not all seats are created equal. Tent #1 almost guarantees you a spot in the stands where you can feel the athletes’ sweat rain down on you like a spring misting. You’re right by the action, and there’s a 92% chance your mom will text you to tell you that you were on ESPN for a second, giving the thumbs up sign and waving frantically. Unlike the SubCo cookies, there’s a difference between that utopia and tent 94. Tent 94 is behind the tuba players in band, getting glimpses of the game in between dodging swaying tuba players. It’s awful. It’s not great. Being at home would be better. So therefore, Tent #1 is a winner and first in the cookie line is a pedestrian.

 

“I’m going to make a restaurant called ‘I Don’t Know Whatever,’ that way indecisive people will have a place to eat.”

Ah, sorry buddy…you’ve gotten beat. And at this point, you should know whatever. Whatever’s important. Learn to know it. Also learn commas.

“Does Gonzaga think it’s located in Fairbanks Alaska or what holy **** turn down the head in all these buildings!”

dancing animated GIF Even with this chronic typo, 7 of you still felt the need to upvote it. Well done. And also, I like to make an entrance. Sue me. If I’m turning heads at Gonzaga or Fairbanks, Alaska, nobody can stifle my impeccable mannerisms. So I will NOT turn down the turning of heads.

 

“I can always tell who posted a photo on Instagram by who looks better”

That’s why I always Instagram food. As good looking as I may be, I’ll always find a gourmet Italian dish that looks a million times better.

 

“When a sub comes in and says its movie day >”

…How old are you? When was the last time there was a sub in college? When was the last time someone used the term “movie day” in college? Shame on you.

 

“I was feeling depressed today, so I baked a cake. then I added dinosaur and meteor sprinkles on top to remind myself that things could be worse.”

I’m sure. I bet you brought those very specific sprinkles, including meteor sprinkles (which, naturally, sell well enough to be a real thing) to college. And on top of that, use them regularly where you were making the cake and thought “Oh, I should use my nifty dinosaur and meteor sprinkles I packed when I left!” No. Also, wouldn’t sprinkles just be rock sprinkles?

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Categories: Yak Back

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