By Ben Keenan
As the New Year begins, you have to start thinking about next year’s living situation. Sorry. It’s inevitable. You really can’t escape it. But fear not; you can avoid all sorts of confusion, simply by understanding who you are and which type of roommate meshes with YOUR unique personality.
The Early Bird
This roommate runs. Like a lot. Or doesn’t do their homework at night. Like ever. Therefore, they use the morning to click click click on their keyboards or slam slam slam drawers to get their clothes for their morning workout. “Oh does my turning on the light bother you? I didn’t realize you were still sleeping!” *6 AM*
The Random Roommate
Literally the last choice of roommate post-freshman year. Aka bye freshman roommate, never wanna see you again. But also low-key, I realize I didn’t know as many eligible roommates as I thought I did…sooo….
The Invisible Roommate
Did you forget that you had a roommate? That’s probably because they’re never there. Either they’re always in someone else’s room or they come back when you’re asleep and leaves before you’re awake. (Disclaimer: this can sometimes be the PERFECT choice; don’t sleep on this choice)
The Ever-Present Roommate
On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the roommate who NEVER LEAVES. Like do you have no classes? Friends? Family? DO YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM? DO YOU EAT??! HELP!!
The Aspiring Musician
Them- “Oh look, a nice desk that I can drum my hands, pencils, fists, etc. on!”
Me- “Hey that’s a great beat! Maybe they play that in hell!”
Projects, papers, meetings, crafts, paper notes, sticky notes, typed notes, notes, notes, notes, candy, notes, notes, notes.
They probably hate that you don’t like folding laundry or doing dishes. They will probably then also do these chores for you. But also, they know when you’re not feeling well and can (fingers crossed) bring you a delicious snack and rub your back until you feel better! Thank God for mom-away-from-home!
The Human Stress-Ball
Hey roommate, remember all those classes that the thousands of other students go to? Yeah, they get stressed out too. SIMMER DOWN!
“The Roommate” Roommate
You’ve all seen this movie (or at the very least heard of it). In case you haven’t (SPOILER), this chick’s roommate is obsessed with her and kills like everyone ever so that they can live together (creepy). If this is your roommate, RUN. RUN VERY FAST.
The Roommate Who Doesn’t Know You Exist
For whatever reason, they don’t like talking to you, looking at you, acknowledging you. For all intents and purposes, if you were on fire, they’d probably leave the room because you’re bothering them.
The Roommate You Pretend Doesn’t Exist
The Best Roommates You’ll Ever Have