Ben Yaks Back – 3/5

For some reason, the app Yik Yak has been insanely popular at GU. Yik Yak is an anonymous Twitter feed where people can say whatever they want, which can prompt some inappropriate content. Yik Yak also uses location services on your phone, so the Yaks you see are guaranteed to be from people in your area.



“It is both my greatest fear and greatest ambition to end up on ‘Ben Yaks Back'”

I’m sorry and you’re welcome, I guess?

Not a literal Yak, but there were like 12 in a row about how the BARC got Cocoa Puffs, and 3 of them were the joke “I’m in love with the cocoa…puffs.” If you learn one thing at school, make it be that you aren’t original.



 “Anyone want a nut pic?”


“Stages of doing homework: 1. Putin it off 2. Stalin 3. Russian to finish”

I’ve already responded to that Yak KGBefore. And yes, I used the KGB pun then, too.

“I wonder if when a fish breaks up with another fish, the fish friends say, ‘don’t worry. There’s plenty of humans on the land'”

Fish don’t have relationships. Or friends. They only have SCHOOLmates. Get it? See, if I actually liked Yik Yak, I could become your God.

“Remember playing Mario cart and thinking you were in first place, but then you realize your looking at the wrong screen and your crashing into walls and s***. Yeah, that’s what college feels like.”

Seriously? You’re at a great school getting an awesome education and you’re surrounded by beautiful people your own age. People are cooking your meals, cleaning up after you and you get to make your own schedule. After you’re finished, you have a diploma from a really respected institution and have an upper hand on getting jobs. You get free tickets to one of the most exciting basketball teams in the nation and you get to celebrate their victories when other people who care as much as you do. Quit you whining. College is sweet.

“When you take 3 naps before noon, you know something’s wrong.”

That’s just called sleeping, right?

“Ladies in the library….ZIP IT!”

applause animated GIF

That’s probably the most effective way you could have solved your problem. Well done. You showed them. This was the mature and right way to handle your problem.

“I just want to take a moment to appreciate all the different ways I can eat potatoes”

This is a good one, actually. It’s something you take for granted. Like dozens of Yik Yak users with a college education.

“I’m good at starting relationships because I’m sweet and charming but I have no idea of how to just start a casual friends with benefits type relationship….”

And humble, apparently. You seem like you’re fun at parties.


This is why people hate our generation. Two years ago this wouldn’t have made any sense to anybody and it still kind of doesn’t. If Tinder, the mobile dating app that pairs you with someone based purely on outward appearance, is “before anything else,” that’s not a good thing.


Categories: Yak Back

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