Why Madonnastock is Going to be Better Than Coachella

Madonnastock is Gonzaga’s annual (free!) music festival put on by GSBA, happening this Friday from 4 to 10 pm on the quad. Coachella is one of the biggest music festival’s in the nation, arguably in the world. Besides being able to support your  friend’s and peer’s performances and having a head bangin knee slappin time, here are some reasons why Madonnastock is going to be BETTER than Coachella…


1. No one’s soul will be sucked…(hopefully)


In case your computer got taken over by “Anonymous” Hacker Group and your phone found its way into the Spokane River this past week (we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt), here’s what happened during Drake’s performance this past weekend at Coachella 2015: Drake brought Madonna on as a surprise performance during his set. During the performance, Madonna pulls a Madonna and starts attacking Drake with her mouth. Madonna sucks the soul from Drake in her pursuit to reach the top of the Illuminati. Considering “Thirst” is performing, Gonzaga’s very own Christian Worship band, the only souls that will be sucked at Madonnastock are the one’s being sucked into Jesus’ love and glory. Take that, Illuminati.


2. You don’t have to compete with your friends to see who can wear the least amount of hippy-esque clothing that nonetheless costs over $500


Don’t get me wrong—music festival style can be some of the best, most care-free and expressive style. But throw in unnecessary headdresses, embellished bras as tops and celebrities and 12-year-olds alike competing for the best Instagram picture and you get the worst type of hippie: a wanna-be hippie. At Madonnastock, you’ll be lucky to see a flourishing bucket-hat or two, some high-waisted bell-bottoms and genuinely thrifted clothes, and you don’t have to force yourself into a daily crunch routine or spend hundreds of dollars on clothes that you’ll most likely never wear again!


3. No one will pretend to know bands that they don’t


At Coachella 2013, Jimmy Kimmel’s Lie Witness News became a YouTube sensation when he revealed Coachella-goers pretending to know up-and-coming bands that didn’t exist. At Madonnastock, no one has to pretend that they know the bands because everyone is on the same page: we have shamelessly never heard of them before! Side note: Tell Baco and Coughlin Rejects are real performers on deck this year…not fictitious names.


4. You can avoid the hot and sticky masses


This year’s Coachella festival is expected to draw around 180,000 music fans to the California desert over the course of each of the event’s two weekends. This year’s Madonnastock festival is expected to draw around anywhere between 1 and 4,896 music fans to the Gonzaga quad (assuming Gonzaga’s entire undergraduate student body shows up). Statistically, the chances of getting trampled to death in a mosh pit are much higher at Coachella. Which inevitably means you have a higher chance of survival at Madonnastock than Coachella. It’s your life to live though…don’t let us tell you what to do.


5. Us broke college students won’t get any more broke

This year, the festival is hosting a photobooth, sumo wrestling and performances from both Bomb Squad and the Dance Team among other fun, free activities! Ok…so Coachella may have games like live fouseball and may have reincarnated Tupac through a live hologram a few years ago…but hey, at least you can feel good about not having to spend money and saving up for your next frozen meal instead. (Although we totally support implementing a hologram at Madonnastock 2016…)


6. Madonnastock is hosting the FIRST EVER beer garden on campus!

It’s a monumental date in Gonzaga’s history…’nough said.




Categories: Campus Life, Music

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