The 6 Most Stressful Moments In The Life Of A Zag

I remember finishing the first semester of my senior year in high school and thinking to myself, “You did it, Jacob. The most stressful part of your life is over now. It’s all going to be smooth sailing until you retire at 25 as a multi-millionaire male model.” Golly, was I wrong. As it turns out, stress goes together with college as much as pumpkin spice lattes go together with Uggs and yoga pants. Here are a few of the most stressful moments students go through at Gonzaga.

1. Finding A House


This particular stress is one that many Zags are experiencing right now. Finding a house for the following school year is absolute chaos. Nothing will ever go perfectly according to what you had in mind unless you were picturing a lot of crying and cursing, and if that’s the case then you should probably seek professional help. Finding a place to live for an entire year is always stressful; I know that’s not just a Gonzaga thing. The problem is that Gonzaga students are just too darn proactive and most good houses are gone by the end of freaking September. My friends at other schools have no problems finding awesome houses near campus in January or February. At this point, it looks like it’ll just be easier to commute from Pullman.

2. Class Registration 


On paper, the registration process for classes makes sense. The time slot that you’re given to register depends on how many credits you already have, which allows those who absolutely need a class to graduate to typically get that class. In practice, however, registration is nothing more than a stress-inducing free-for-all. The 10-20 seconds it takes to enter all of your course numbers feels like an eternity of punishment and stress. The cruelest part of all of this, of course, is that we have to undergo some of the most important steps to graduate on the notoriously sketchy GU Wi-Fi. I’ve heard horror stories about registration that shake me to my very core. Be careful, Zags. Be careful.

 3. The Week (Or Day) Before A Big Test


One major complaint you’ll hear every semester is that Gonzaga has a “dead day” instead of the traditional “dead week” that gives students an entire week without classes in order to study for finals week. On that day, however, the school transforms into this bizarre, almost apocalyptic setting. Outside of the library, the campus is barren. There is nothing but silence and the occasional nervous breakdown of a nursing major who is audibly trying to figure out how much jail time she’d get if she got caught dealing illegal substances. It gets pretty weird pretty fast.

4. Slowly Watching Everybody Finish That Big Test Before You/Finishing Way Too Fast


“How did that guy finish in 20 minutes? Well, whatever, he’s pretty smart. Wait, why’s that girl standing up? She’s done too? And them too? I’m on problem five still! This is it. I’m going to run out of time and fail and I just wasted five more minutes with this internal dialogue.”


“Dear God, please don’t let there have been a back side to that test.”

5. Ticket Distribution (For Tenting Games)


Ticket distribution for most basketball games is fine. It’s pretty mellow, most people get tickets, and there aren’t many problems. Ticket distribution for tenting games, however, is a slightly more terrifying version of The Hunger Games. A minute before Kennel Club tweets out the location of the distribution (a secret more heavily guarded than what really happened at Roswell) the entire campus is silent. Students are staring at their phones in complete stillness. Then the location is tweeted out and all hell breaks loose. Hundreds of students break out in a full-on sprint like middle school girls when the gate opens at a Justin Bieber concert (is he still topical?). Think Black Friday except instead of 50$ flat screen TVs you get to see a bunch of sweaty European dudes.

 6. The Entirety Of March Madness


For those of you who don’t know, Gonzaga has traditionally had a pretty decent basketball team. We’ve been called America’s Team, one of college basketball’s greatest Cinderella stories, and that one team who consistently screws up your overly competitive coworker’s March Madness bracket. However, the expectations to succeed in the Big Dance don’t come without stress. With every round the Zags advance to, the student body slowly begins to lose its collective mind. The last time I saw a grown man cry was after a devastating loss in the NCAA tournament (no, not Adam Morrison. We don’t speak of that anymore). That doesn’t stop March from being one of the greatest months at Gonzaga. Sometimes, the stress is worth it! Sometimes.


Categories: Campus Life

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