Yak Attack: 11/19/15

Some of you may remember a former segment on the Bulldog Blog, Ben Yaks Back, where a writer would respond to the popular app Yik Yak. Yik Yak (or Twitter for cowards) is an anonymous feed where people can say whatever they want, which can prompt some inappropriate, weird, and sometimes (mostly) downright stupid content. Yik Yak also uses location services on your phone, so the Yaks you see are guaranteed to be from people in your area. This is my response.

1. “What if we’re all inside a Capri sun and the moon is where the straw is”

Game_Of_Thrones_Of_Lies 

The original version of this Yak had a picture of the moon attached to it as a sort of visual, which makes it understandable. However, the Yak that I’m quoting was posted only 13 hours after the original, only this time without a picture. They didn’t even wait for the original Yak to be off the feed before they copied it verbatim. While I didn’t find the original Yak that funny to begin with, the picture of the moon at least allowed me to see where they were coming from. Without the picture attached, the Yakker just came off as somebody who enjoys mind-altering substances. The fact that somebody felt they had to blatantly rip off such a mediocre Yak in a shameless attempt to get more upvotes makes me way more angry than I’d like to be about anything that mentions Capri Suns.

2. “I feel like buying a stuffed squirrel and leaving it around random parts of campus to see how people respond to it”

 Jim_Carrey_Okay.gif

People would probably respond by saying, “Oh look, it’s a stuffed squirrel. I’m going to continue walking and ignore it because a toy on the ground isn’t enough to get a response out of me.” It wouldn’t really be funny or clever, but if it would make you happy I guess you should go for it?

3. “I just want to go home and see my dog”

 dog-tackles-owner.gif

Dogs are the best. When I came to college as a wide-eyed and innocent freshman, I knew I’d miss my parents and also my dog. I never expected I would end up missing my dog and also my parents. My parents knew that eventually I would go to college and they can rationalize that. My dog, however, probably thinks I just left him. I could be dead for all he knows. I think we all want to go see our dogs.

 

 

4. “Sometimes when I’m on Yik Yak I think about the fact that I could be reading Yaks from anyone, like Wiltjer or Thayne”

Biden_Malarky!.gif 

 Technically, this is true. Anybody near campus can use Yik Yak, and this includes basketball superstar Kyle Wiltjer and Gonzaga President Thayne McCulloh. Technically, Wiltjer could be the author of the Yak “Nothing beats cuddling up close to someone you love on a cold night :)” and I mean theoretically “Gonzaga is LAME. Can’t wait for the Non-Party’s this weekend” could indeed be a Thayne McCulloh original. However, at this point in the life of Yik Yak, I like to imagine it’s just the same lonely, unfunny, boring kid that’s Yakking the same thing over and over again.

 

5. Moment Of Sanity: “It’s amazing how many yaks I see that were just copy and pasted from Twitter.”

Kevin_Malonee

      I’ve been saying for months that Yik Yak is just Twitter for cowards. It’s for people who aren’t original enough to post something to Twitter and attach their name to it, so they hide behind the anonymity of Yik Yak and just steal things from actually funny websites. If you author something you can stand by, attach your name to it. Otherwise, just don’t post it. Please, don’t post it.

*Author’s note: Typos in Yaks are left in so that you understand what we’re dealing with.

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