It’s basketball season! You get to ticket distribution only to see the line wrapping around the building. You shouldn’t have spent so long playing with that dog near College Hall, now you’re late. As you get closer to the Kennel Club members that are passing out tickets, you feel a slight glimmer of hope. Maybe you’ll get into the game after all!
That glimmer of hope is crushed just seconds later as you’re told that they just gave away the last ticket to that kid in front of you. You glare at the back of the kid’s head as he leaves with the last ticket. You leave the building feeling numb, and not just because of the 11-degree weather. Get ready, my friend. You’re about to experience the five stages of grief that occur when you miss out on tickets to a basketball game.
You haven’t fully processed what just occurred. You waited an hour and a half, so there’s no way you didn’t get a ticket, right? They were probably just messing with you and somebody’s going to come out with a ticket in a few seconds. “Maybe I’m on Punk’d,” you think to yourself. Of course, as you catch yourself staring at a bush waiting for Ashton Kutcher to spring out from behind it, you realize that version of Punk’d hasn’t been on air since 2007 and you begin to acknowledge what just happened to you. This leads you to the next stage…
You’re livid. You’re furious. You’re wrathful. You’re all of the thesaurus entries for angry, if we’re being honest. You feel like that little red fellow from the movie Inside Out. You blame Kennel Club for running out of tickets. You blame that dog that you pet on the way to ticket distribution that made you late. You blame Mark Few for being so good at his job that there’s a ridiculously high demand for tickets. You just want to fight something. Where’s that dog from earlier?
After your rage dies down a bit, you turn to seek help from a higher power: Facebook. “Does anybody have an extra ticket to Friday’s game?!?!?” you ask with way too much punctuation. You have 30 Facebook friends, somebody’s bound to be able to help you.
. . . . .
Four hours later and you’ve had three comments on your post. Two of them are from your friends calling you despicable, vulgar names. One of them is from your Aunt Karen asking how your family is doing and telling you about a new recipe for an appetizer that has squash in it. The bargaining stage did not go very well.
Reality has set in. There’s no way you’re getting a ticket. You sit on your bed without pants and eat an entire tub of ice cream by yourself in silence. You were planning on doing this anyways, but now you do it sadly. You don’t even care that your roommate and his friends are staring at you while you cry into your Cherry Garcia.
Alright, it’s time to face facts. You’re not going to this game. You have a few options from here.
Not watch the game at all, but that’s ridiculous. You are a Zag, after all.
Go back to your room and try to watch the game on your $30 TV. This is a viable option, but you’ll find that the screen looks blurry when your eyes are so full of tears.
Go to a local restaurant or bar and watch the game with other loyal, sad, ticketless Zag Fans. After all, the only thing more satisfying than watching Arizona lose to Gonzaga? Watching Arizona lose to Gonzaga while you eat tasty half price pizza, sipping on a cold drink.
Watch the Zags battle Arizona at David’s Pizza this Saturday at 12:15 pm. Zags with ID get 2 slices of pizza with a soft drink for $5.00 during the game. Check out the full menu or get directions at davidspizza.com.