Yak Attack – 5 Jokes We Need To Retire For Next Semester

Some of you may remember a former segment on the Bulldog Blog, Ben Yaks Back, where a writer would respond to the popular app Yik Yak. Yik Yak (or Twitter for cowards) is an anonymous feed where people can say whatever they want, which can prompt some inappropriate, weird, and sometimes (mostly) downright stupid content. Yik Yak also uses location services on your phone, so the Yaks you see are guaranteed to be from people in your area. With the semester wrapping up, let’s take a look at some overused Yik Yak jokes that need to die with 2015. 

1. Anything About Squirrels 

Sqrl

Examples:

“I feel like buying a stuffed squirrel and leaving it around random parts of campus to see how people respond to it”

“The squirrels are forming an army. They’re going to attack soon. Be warned.”

Why It Should Die:

Squirrels are basically adorable rats. At first, the constant stream of squirrel yaks was kind of adorable. However, just like everything once decent (we’re looking at you, Macklemore) it got overused to the point that they’re no longer cool. We’re not the only campus with squirrels, just check out any other school’s Yik Yak feed and you’ll realize how unoriginal you are.

2. I just ______, got a _______ degree from WSU 

Cut_It_Out.gif

Examples:

“Just made cereal, got a culinary degree from WSU”

“Washed my hands, got a medical degree from WSU”

Why It Should Die:

There is nothing wrong with making fun of WSU a little bit. I have friends at WSU (well, I would if I had friends). This formula for making fun of schools has been around for years, and it’s getting old. Let’s just try to be a bit more creative next semester, okay?

3. COG Food

Fresh_Prince

Examples:

“You know the COG’s bad when the cereal is gone”

“It’s hard to get to the Freshman 15 when the COG gives you literal breadcrumbs for portions.”

Why It Should Die

The COG is never going to be good as homemade food. It’s not going to be good as a restaurant. That being said, they still give you hot, somewhat-decent food. Sure, the portions are small, but you can always get seconds or thirds. Plus, the COG has Peachy Kay on staff, so how can we keep hating it.

 4. Assert Your Dominance

John_Watsad

Examples:

“Assert your dominance: write up your RA”

“Assert your dominance: ask your teachers to evaluate you.”

Why It Should Die:

This is another joke that I actually kind of liked at first. However, as time went on, they became stupider and stupider. Now they’re just sad. Kind of like me.

 5. ______ And Chill?

 No_Please_No

Examples:

“Gonzaga squirrels and chill?”

“Tent city and chill?”

Why It Should Die:

The popular meme “Netflix and chill” took America by storm. Basically, Netflix and chill is a code for inviting people over in order to watch Netflix but then do other, naughtier stuff (like graffiti or swearing). Due to the simplicity of the phrase, it’s become ripe for parody. However, just like everything on this list, it’s way too overused. If we’re going to post unfunny things on Yik Yak, let’s at least post original unfunny content. Let’s do better next semester.

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Categories: Uncategorized, Yak Attack

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