College is not the “real world.” The real world is full of responsibilities, crushed hopes, and having to act like an adult. The quirks and daily routines of Gonzaga that are completely acceptable on campus suddenly become “weird” and “unprofessional” when you enter post-collegiate society. Here are some things you do on campus that would get some weird reactions anywhere else in the world.
1. Using Your ID To Pay For Things
At GU, using your flex dollars that come with your meal plan is an incredible feeling. All you have to do is go up to one of the many restaurants on campus that accept flex and swipe your ID card to get what feels like free food (even though you already paid a ton of money for a meal plan). Panda Express? Flex. Duffs? Flex. Starbucks? Flex.
I dare you, dear reader, to try going to a Starbucks in Seattle (if you can find one) and try to pay for your Venti, half-whole milk, split quad shots, no foam latte with whip, two packets of Splenda, a touch of vanilla syrup, and three short sprinkles of cinnamon with just your ID. You’ll leave their store faster than a Pumpkin Spice Latte next to an Ugg store.
As a side note, the Internet tells me that’s a real drink. That’s ridiculous guys. Come on, we’re better than this.
2. Synchronized Jumping When A Certain Song Comes On
One of the greatest traditions at Gonzaga is the synchronized dancing to Zombie Nation before basketball games. As soon as we hear the first notes of the song (if you can really call them notes), the entire student section goes bananas. Hundreds of students jump together, swing their arms together, and sway together to create a spectacle of unity, strength, and community rivaled only by the North Korean Mass Games at the Arirang Festival.
At GU, we call that school spirit. In the real world, we would call that “really creepy.” Either it’s 2012 again and we’re witnessing another lame flash mob or something creepy and awful is happening and we’d run for our lives.
3. Getting To A Sporting Event 12+ Hours Ahead Of The Starting Time
The dedicated Zag fan is willing to sacrifice time, grades, and possibly health to watch our men’s basketball team play. I’ve seen students lined up to get into McCarthy at 6 AM for an 8 PM game against a mediocre WCC team. Students sleep in flimsy tents in below-freezing weather just to watch the Zags take on BYU. The dedication of our fans is absolutely incredible.
In the real world, you already have your tickets with assigned seating. Imagine standing in line for 12 hours to see the 76ers play. People would think that you’re homeless or lost. Unless it’s for the newest iPhone or Star Wars, adults don’t line up over night to wait for something. That’s bonkers.
4. Wandering The Streets Of The Logan At 1 In The Morning
If you were to see a graduate walking the streets of the Logan neighborhood at 1 AM, your first thought isn’t going to be “I wonder what party he’s heading to.” It’s going to be “I wonder how many times he’s going to stab me.” Don’t tell me I’m wrong.
5. Eating Panda Express/SubCo/Zips More Than Once A Week
While you’re at college, very few people will judge you for eating unhealthy food from the same restaurant multiple times a week. After college, it gets really sad. If someone walked into your dorm and saw three or four to-go boxes from Panda Express in the garbage, they probably wouldn’t really care. If somebody walked into your apartment when you’re 30 and saw Panda Express boxes littering the floor, they’d hold an intervention or break down in tears and openly weep at the thought that any human being would waste their life in such a terrible way.