Valentine’s Day is terrible if you’re single (it’s also terrible if you’re in a relationship, but that’s not what this article is about). If you don’t believe me, we’re talking about the one holiday where you can put pictures of naked flying babies around your house and not have the cops called on you. Sure, romance is in the air, but it’s in more of a biochemical warfare type of way and not in the adorable way people think.
I wanted to make being single on Valentine’s Day suck a little less this year, so I’ve put together some rad tips to help make your Valentine’s Day a little better.
1. Have A “Treat Yo Self “Day
Most of your friends in a relationship on Valentine’s Day will get the same disgusting chocolates, chalky heart candies, and premade cards as 80% of the other people in relationships in America. Make them jealous by doing anything and everything you’ve ever wanted to do in one day. Take a last minute flight to Vegas. Drop $200 on those new Nikes. Get a massage. Buy some fine leather goods. Angrily flip off pictures of Adam Sandler. Whatever it is that makes you happy, go ahead and do it.
2. Hit The Town With Your Other Single Friends
Get all your friends without dates and do something fun in the city. Nothing will get your mind off of Valentine’s Day like a good old fashioned pub crawl! To quote the great poet Nicholas Miller of New Girl fame, “Valentine’s Day might be for couples, but the crawl is for all.” Hit the bars, go find a cool new club, and enjoy spending time with your friends. Please drink responsibly.
3. Be Your Own Valentine
This Valentine’s Day, be your own date! Buy yourself some chocolates, but get the ones you actually like. Go out for a nice dinner without having to worry about whether or not you look like a pig. Buy yourself some nice wine. After all, you’re a strong, independent blog reader and you don’t need no man/woman.
4. Do Something New And Exciting
Try a change of pace and do something that’ll get your adrenaline flowing! Skydiving could be a cool new experience. Maybe try paintballing for the first time. For a more cost-efficient option, try committing a small felony and attempt to run from the cops! Nothing says “alone on Valentine’s Day” like being wanted for a crime!
5. Reflect On Your Life And Finally Face The Fact That There’s A Very Real Chance You’ll Never Find Love And You’re Going To End Up Incredibly, Horrifyingly Alone
You’re not guaranteed anybody. Life isn’t a movie where you’ll always find your soul mate. People have lived their whole lives without ever finding love, how are you any different than them? What are you doing? Don’t call Tracey, you idiot. Put that phone down. You’re better than this. She’ll be happier without you. After all, you just committed a felony on Valentine’s Day because a blog told you to. You’re a mess. You deserve to be single. Oh God. Oh God!
6. See A Movie With Friends!
Nothing says #SingleAndProud like seeing a fun film with friends! Personal recommendation: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip. Talk about a wacky adventure!