Some of you may remember a former segment on the Bulldog Blog, Ben Yaks Back, where a writer would respond to the popular app Yik Yak. Yik Yak (or Twitter for cowards) is an anonymous feed where people can say whatever they want, which can prompt some inappropriate, weird, and sometimes (mostly) downright stupid content. Yik Yak also uses location services on your phone, so the Yaks you see are guaranteed to be from people in your area. This is my response.
1. “When you’re so bored in philosophy that you memorize the first 50 digits of pi”
“But I mean I still know Shakespeare’s sonnet 18 from seventh grade soooo”
These are both from the same person and I’ve never wanted to punch somebody in the face more in my life. I’m willing to bet that this is the kind of kid who rationalizes that the reason he has no friends is because he thinks “he hasn’t found anybody who can keep up with his tremendous intellect,” when in reality he doesn’t have any friends because he takes the time to memorize 50 digits of pi for fun.
2. “Please don’t let the gnats come back with the weather”
I hate to break it to you, but they’ll be back. The gnats are easily startled, but they will soon be back, and in greater numbers.
3. “Once there was Domas, and then there was no más.”
4. As an civil minoring in buisness, I can confirm that buisness classes are in fact a joke.
If you’re in college and manage to misspell the word “business” twice in the same sentence, I’m pretty sure you’re the real joke here. You made three typos in seventeen words. You’ve lost your right to criticize the education of anybody.
*Author’s note: Typos in Yaks are left in so that you understand what we’re dealing with.