The Final Yak Attack – Hipster Edition

Anybody that knows me knows that I think Yik Yak is less than stellar. Yet, I’ve had to be on the app at least once a week for the past year so I could deliver my three fans (mother, father, crack addict) their weekly Yak Attack. I couldn’t be more excited to announce that this is the final Yak Attack.

To celebrate my never having to do this again, I’ve decided to combine actual Yaks that I’ve seen this year with pretentious hipster photography. Am I juxtaposing terrible Yaks with a form of art that takes itself too seriously in order to highlight the absurdity of Yik Yak? Eh. Am I doing this because I think it’s funny? Most likely. In any case, enjoy my very last Yak Attack.

I.

4 

I like this one because the Yak by itself says one thing, while the image as a whole says a totally different thing. By itself, the Yak implies that an overly-dramatic, whiny individual is going through problems with boys, probably because they still use Yik Yak to post about things like this.

When combined with the picture of an octopus, it makes much more sense. This octopus probably doesn’t know what boys are because it is an octopus. This is much more appropriate, and he/she/it has every right to be confused.

II.

1

Similar to our confused octopus Yakker, this Yakker is also confused by basic sexes. However, there is one M. Night Shyamalan twist to this Yak: the speaker is a girl herself. This identity crisis is highlighted through the image of a female with her back turned to us, gazing off in the distance. Will she ever truly understand girls, despite being a girl? This piece truly embodies the anguish and anxiety that this stupid f*****g Yak is about.

III.

5

This one sure is artsy.

Through this Yakker’s question, he’s implying that you’re the weird one if you don’t like the taste of butthole. This text, superimposed on the buttocks of a skateboarder, is a harrowing image that cautions us of peer pressure, the state of modern society, and also buttholes.

IV.

6

Emptiness. Nature. Arrows. This picture has it all. Nothing says “Penis Fly Trap” like the rustic imagery of a field.

V.

2

In an image that is equal parts beautiful and haunting, like a sunset over a dilapidated building in Haiti, this piece forces the viewer to question even the most fundamental of their beliefs. Stunning.

VI.

3

Just looking at this image brings me a great sense of serenity. I feel at piece. Everything will be okay. Life will be better now.

*Author’s note: Typos in Yaks are left in so that you understand what we’re dealing with.

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