Things To Do When Your Roommate Isn’t Home: As Told By Ron Swanson

For all you kids who have roommates, or have ever shared a room with a sibling, you know the sweet, sweet relief that comes when you open the door to your room and realize that they aren’t home. Or when you finally figure their schedule out and know that every Tuesday, Thursday you have exactly two hours to yourself while they are in class. The amount of freedom that comes from your roommate being gone is comparable to a Ron Swanson 4th of July celebration. In fact, our beloved Parks and Recreation character is the perfect representation of the unadulterated emotion that comes from having the room to yourself.


Eat Everything


If there is one thing I’ve learned from Ron Swanson, it is that there is no such thing as too much food, particularly bacon and various meats. So chow down without fear of judgment, and channel your inner Swanson.


Jam Out To Your Favorite Album


While Ron Swanson probably only listens to acoustic, live music, played by lumberjacks on wooden instruments they carved themselves, you have the opportunity to listen to your guilty pleasure music without interruption.


Get Ready For a Nap


There is no one to stop you from knocking out for a few hours, so get real cozy, do a little nap dance, and pass out.


Make A Playlist For The Person You Are Currently Wooing


Gone are the days of mixtapes recorded on cassettes, now are the days of Spotify playlists. Let that special person know exactly how you feel with classics such as “You’re Body is a Wonderland” and “Love You Like a Love Song,” or maybe even a song by Duke Silver.


Dance Like No One Is Watching Because They Are Not


You are all alone and can go just go ape and cut a rug to the new Chainsmokers or Drake song. Set your heart free and get to dancing.


Don’t Talk To Anyone


Feel free to keep your door shut and locked and to turn off notifications on your phone. Take this time to be alone and actively avoid people. You’ve earned it.




Now is the perfect time to work on that project you started four weekends ago when you had time. Unfortunately, your roommate says that your bedazzler keeps them awake and the welder is too bright. What a buzzkill.


With Easter Break coming up, lots of roommates will be going home. Take full advantage of this fact, and take advantage of your freedom. It’s what Ron would want.


Categories: Campus Life, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. Love being alone sometimes! And gotta love Ron.


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