Here at Gonzaga, over 60% of our student population is involved in intramurals, placing us at #2 in the nation for participation. It’s almost rare to find a student that hasn’t played on at least one intramural team at some point in their collegiate career. Even I, a man whose body type is typically described by doctors as “medically horrifying,” play on a couple IM teams a year.
Students play to relieve stress, bond with friends, move around a bit, and to hopefully win one of those coveted champion shirts. With around 30 different intramural sports offered, ranging from basketball to badminton, students can find the sports that are most interesting to them. However, no matter what sport you choose, you’re going to find the same types of people on your team.
1. The Former Athlete
If it weren’t for that minor injury in high school, she would probably be playing basketball at UConn. She’s 6’4” and has perfect technique as a result of her 15 years of experience in the sport.
Everyone on your team passes to her, which is cool because you win every game by 30, but also not super cool because you touched the ball once and it was immediately stolen. You feel like it shouldn’t be legal for a former 3-star recruit to play against a team that calls themselves “The Slam Dunkin’ Donuts,” but whatever.
2. The Unexpected Star
Your friend invited him to the team, so you really don’t know much about him. You keep hearing that he’s incredible, but all you know is that he’s about 5’5” and 250 lbs, so you’re not sure why he’s on your IM soccer team. You’re also 70% sure you saw him eating a hotdog while stretching.
All your doubts are immediately erased as he scores 5 goals in the first ten minutes. You didn’t know that someone that hefty could be that nimble, but it’s hypnotizing.
3. The Chill Dude
This guy is definitely out here just to spend time with his friends and play a little softball. He’s always smiling and you can just tell that he’s having a good time.
He strikes out? “It’s all good!”
The ref missed an obvious call that lost you the game? “It’s all good!”
He gets a Kevin Ware-esque injury that may prevent him from ever playing a sport again? “It’s all good!”
He’s definitely fun to hang out with, but maybe not the best teammate if you’re trying to win.
4. The Not-So-Chill Dude
This guy wants to win, and he makes that very clear. He constantly argues with the refs, yells at his teammates, and frightens the touring groups of high school seniors that pass by the field. If he makes a mistake, he’ll start doing laps around the field as punishment. If your team doesn’t make it to the championships, he’ll probably transfer to another school. It’s probably best to stay clear of him.
5. The Ghost
Her name has been on the roster all year, but she has yet to show up. Rumor has it that your captain will occasionally get a text from her that says “Not feeling great, I’ll be at the next game though!” or “I forgot I had a meeting, I’ll for sure be there next game.” But these are just rumors. You’re not quite sure she even exists.
6. The Adorably Terrible One
Okay, he’s not great at catching Frisbees. Alright, he’s not so great at throwing Frisbees either. If we’re being honest, he’s not really all that fast. Fine, he definitely can’t jump much at all. But it’s kind of adorable to watch him try!
Like The Chill Dude, he always has a smile on his face. Unlike the Chill Dude, he plays his lil’ heart out. He’s definitely important to have for morale, and your team would protect him with your lives.
7. The Supportive Bench Player
She joined your IM team because you needed another player in order to meet the minimum requirements, but she really doesn’t want to play much. Sure, she comes to the game in athletic clothes, but she’s perfectly content just hanging out on the sidelines and cheering on the team. She even brought orange slices for halftime that one time, which arguably makes her the most important member of the team.