Finals week is upon us, which is terrible news for students and wonderful news for pizza delivery places and coffee shops. Finals often get the best of students, but it doesn’t always have to be a sleepless, stressful ordeal! Follow these 24 easy steps and get that GPA up!
1. Write Down When Your Finals Are Ahead Of Time
When you’re busy, it’s easy to let some things fall through the cracks. Make sure to mark down the times of your finals ahead of time on your calendar so you can plan accordingly and avoid the nightmare scenario of missing a test!
2. Make Sure You Have The Right Supplies
You’re only as good as your tools, after all. Make a checklist of everything that you could possibly need in order to be effective. After all, wasting time looking for supplies later will cut into valuable studying time!
3. Make Sure Your Workspace Is Clean
A clean desk is a clean mind! Spend a few minutes making sure that your workspace is pristine. Otherwise you risk being distracted by a mess. Yuck!
4. Spend A Few Minutes Calculating The Lowest Grade You Can Get On Your Finals To Get An “A” In The Class
Alright, this may not be the most productive thing to do, but it’ll definitely give your some peace of mind! There are many online grade calculators where you just have to enter your current grade and the weight of your final to see how much you need to get that “A” in your class.
And it looks like you’ll just need to get an easy… 160%? Shit.
5. Spend A Few Minutes Calculating The Lowest Grade You Can Get On Your Finals To Pass The Class
Okay, so an A is out of the question now. It may benefit you to spend a few extra minutes figuring out the minimum grade you can get on this final and still pass the class. Sure, it’s not productive, but after you do this you’ll get right to studying.
6. Realize That A Lot Is Riding On These Finals And Get Stressed Out
Oh God. You didn’t know how well you’re going to have to do on these tests. Why didn’t you work just a little harder on that essay in March? Why didn’t you go to that optional speaker for extra credit? You’re stressing. You’re stressing hard.
7. Deal With Your Stress By Allowing Yourself To Watch ONE YouTube Video
There’s no way you can study if you’re stressed out. It’s important to look after your mental health, so you’re going to let yourself watch one YouTube video, but only if it’s shorter than five minutes. That’s reasonable.
8. Accidentally Watch 30 YouTube Videos
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU JUST SPENT AN HOUR AND A HALF WATCHING KEY AND PEELE SKITS, YOU IDIOT. GET TO WORK.
9. Open Your Textbook And Start To Focus
Alright, it’s go time. Break out the highlighter, open up your textbook, and get ready to study.
10. Realize That You Can’t Study In Silence And Open Spotify
It’s too quiet. You know yourself, and you know you can’t be productive if it’s this silence. It’ll take like two seconds to open up Spotify, and it’ll be worth it because you’ll be more productive once it’s up.
11. Spend 25 Minutes Creating A Study Playlist On Spotify
Okay, you can’t just study to any song, right? If the wrong song comes on shuffle, it could throw off your whole game and you won’t be able to focus.
12. Finally Start Reading Your Textbook
Great. You wasted 25 minutes creating a playlist that turned out to just be “Bound 2” by Kanye West 30 times. You finally start reading your textbook and hit a groove. Time to be productive.
13. Realize That You Just Spent Two Hours Reading Three Pages
You were working hard for two hours, and you’re feeling good about how productive you are. You only got through 3 pages? That’s okay, you probably only have to get through like 15 more pages, right?
14. Make The Mistake Of Counting How Many Pages You Have To Get Through
150 PAGES. YOU HAVE TO READ 150 PAGES.
Why did you count? Now you’re more stressed than ever.
15. Look At The Clock And Remember That Your First Final Is In Eight Hours
How is it 2 in the morning? You just started studying! It can’t be 2 in the morning! You throw your clock into the garbage out of rage.
16. Google “Is It Safe To Inject Coffee Into Veins”
It’s not. But will it be worth it? No. You put down your syringe, much to the relief of the others in the library.
18. Get A Weird Second Wind And Finally Study For Three Straight Hours Without Interruption
You’re in the zone. You’re a machine. Look at you go!
19. Go To Your First Final
Maybe it won’t be so bad!
It was bad. Real bad.
21. Stare At The Ceiling For An Hour And Wonder Why You’re Even Trying. I Mean, Ten Years From Now None Of This Will Even Matter. On A Cosmic Scale, You Failing One Final Won’t Make Even A Fraction Of A Fraction Of A Difference In The Grand Scheme Of Things. Nothing You Do Matters. Your Life Is Meaningless And In 100 Years Nobody Will Even Know You Existed In The First Place. You Don’t Matter. You Came From Nothingness And Will Return To Nothingness.
22. Suck It Up And Repeat Steps 1-21 For As Many Finals As You Have
You idiot. You wasted all your time and that was for one final. You have such a journey ahead of you. You feel like Icarus and Sisyphus and all those other tragic Greek fools.
23. Lie To Your Mom’s Face And Tell Her You’re Pretty Sure You Aced All Your Finals
She can’t hear you cry if it’s over the phone, right?
24. Smile Through The Tears! You Did It!